Article: Praise does it

Dr. Suzuki's motto: "Nurtured by Love" is very well encapsulated in the following passage:

"In the Babema tribe of South Africa, when a person acts irresponsibly or unjustly, he is placed in the centre of the village, alone and unfettered. All work ceases, and every man, woman and child in the village gathers in a large circle around the accused individual. Then each person in the tribe speaks to the accused, one at a time, each recalling the good things the person in the centre of the circle has done in his lifetime. Every incident, every experience that can be recalled with any detail and accuracy is recounted. All of his positive attributes, good deeds, strengths, and kindnesses are recited carefully and at length. This tribal ceremony often lasts for several days. At the end, the tribal circle is broken, a joyous celebration takes place, and the person is symbolically and literally welcomed back into the tribe. "
from "The Art of Forgiveness, Lovingkindness and Peace" by Jack Kornfield (Bantam)


When I read this I heard a resounding "Yes, yes, yes!" stir within. This is the only way to treat the criminals in our society and it needs to begin in the home long before any negative acts are committed. "What has this to do with music practice?" you may well ask. Dr. Suzuki used the above approach by teaching with love and to help parents do the same. So often in lessons I see the frustration on the faces of parents sitting in lessons and I cringe to think that maybe later their child will receive some form of reproach later for not doing something 'right' in the performance. Indeed, the Suzuki approach is a triangle between parent, teacher and child and as teachers it is our duty to help parents enable their child at home in music practice. There is not always time in lessons to discuss difficulties. This is the sad state of our Western living, we are always on a time constraint and we have lessons which start and finish at a certain time. But that is another story for another newsletter...

The above story of the Babema tribe is an example of what can be achieved when we help another human being recall all his/her positive traits and deeds. When practising with our children our language is crucial. Instead of saying "No that is wrong do it again" can we find something right about what we have heard then suggest adding the correction? Can we disguise it as a fun challenge? "I heard the word 'cat' very clearly and now let's sing the word 'dog' clearly". How many more words can we sing really clearly?"

We can turn the practice into a game and show our child how much fun we have doing the practice. Could we use another term for practice and say "Improvement Time" or simply "Let's Sing/Play!"
I know I need to remember all of this as a teacher and also as a wife and step mother. Criticism never achieves anything worthwhile and positive, praise does it.

Laura Bernay
2006